Category Archives: practical helping

New Resource Added

I was just made aware of a new program to put together memory boxes for families who have lost babies in the first two trimesters (especially the second). So many memory boxes and clothing items are made and donated for babies lost in the third trimester, but not so many for the second. Crystal created You are my Child in memory of her son Nathan lost at 16 weeks to a cord accident.

“…one of the things I wished that I’d had was a blanket or outfit, sized for him. I remember them handing him to me in a standard sized newborn hospital blanket. He was only 6 1/2” long which was overwhelming enough. The blanket made it worse by swallowing him and emphasizing how tiny he was. In the emotion and shock of the moment, I chose not to have a picture made of my son. (One of the regrets that I live with every day.) Even now, I can’t look at his memory box from the hospital. There is nothing in it that is his… nothing that he touched… not one physical reminder that he was ever born. That tears my heart to pieces.

I got online and began to research organizations and companies who offered remembrance items, specifically for families who experience miscarriage and/or 2nd trimester losses. I was disappointed to find very few. It was then, that the idea for ‘You are my Child’ was born. The idea was simple: help families affected by miscarriage… attach more importance to the word miscarriage. Families should be provided the same support and resources that any other family, who has lost a child, would receive. During the weeks after I delivered, I found myself wanting to shout “I wasn’t sick. I didn’t have a medical procedure. I didn’t ‘just have a miscarriage’. I had a baby. He was my child.” I felt like some people thought because I didn’t carry my baby to term, that my grieving process should be less painful and somehow quicker.”

I have added this to the Resources page. I will be making some blankets to send to help with the memory boxes.

IOCC Baby Kits

Jennifer Hock was the source of this idea of something to do in memory of your lost baby.

The International Orthodox Christian Charities organization (IOCC) needs people to put together emergency kits including emergency baby kits. This is from their site:

To assemble a Baby Kit you will need

  • 2 shirts
  • 2 gowns or sleepers
  • 2 receiving blankets
  • 6 cloth diapers
  • 2 diaper pins
  • 1 sweater or sweatshirt
  • 2 washcloths

Wrap items inside one of the receiving blankets and
secure with diaper pins.

You then box this, label it, and mail it to their headquarters in Maryland.

I know that picking out baby things can be heart-wrenching if your loss is very fresh. Don’t put yourself through this. If you feel that you are able, this is a nice thing to do as a family, particularly with your surviving children. Read Jennifer’s post to see how they did this as a family to commemorate the memory of their lost baby.

Ways to Help

If you have suffered a loss or are close to someone who has, it can ease the ache in your heart a little to reach out to people in similar painful circumstances. One way to do this is to contribute to organizations who put together care packages for premature babies who die shortly after birth, organizations who provide tiny clothing for tiny babies, or who create care packages for parents who miscarry. One woman who has lost two children, a daughter to miscarriage and a son shortly after birth, has created a double ministry in their memory. The page for Evan’s Embrace and Julia’s Joy can be found here.

I have put the buttons for both ministries and more information about them on the Resources page, but please visit the actual site for the most information and to help.

A Thousand Words

If you are a photographer, consider giving your time and talent to Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. You might be the only resource in your area. These photographs mean the world to families who have lost their babies.

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