New beginningsĀ 

As you can see I have moved Lost Innocents to a new platform. The move is not complete and you may run into some dead links. I am still in the process of sifting through everything, cleaning up pages, etc., and I will need to rewatermark all of the photos. I hope all of this will be finished in good time. 

You may still contact me through the contact page here or by emailing lostinnocentsorthodox (at) gmail (dot) com. I am always honored to consider photographs and stories for submission. 

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Photographs and Stories updates

Many thanks to Molli, T., and Amber for sharing photographs of their babies. Molli’s baby, George, died at 8 weeks, 4 days, and his story is on the Your Stories page. T.’s baby is the earliest miscarriage included on the Photographs page at 4 weeks and 2 days. Amber’s baby, Rowan, died at 8 weeks, 5 days, and is the older of twins, his twin having died at 6 weeks.

May their memory be eternal!

These stories and photographs help more people than you can possibly know. I get emails all the time from people thanking me for providing the information and photographs on this site, and that help is largely due to the gracious submissions by parents like you. At the very least (and this isn’t a small thing) these photographs and stories give other grieving parents the consolation that they are not alone, that their babies did and do matter. Thank you so much for your assistance.

Comments problem

There is a bug with Blogger such that I can no longer access comments directly on the Photographs page. Some problem kicked in after we reached the (apparently magical) number of 200 comments. In fact, in desperately trying to read the rest of a recent long comment I accidentally deleted it. šŸ™ So I’m just letting everyone know that until the bug is worked out I can’t respond to comments on that page. If you’re in need of a response, you can email me at lostinnocentsorthodox (at) gmail (dot) com.

Innocent: The Baby at the Beginning

Five years ago today I sat in the cold, scuffed exam room with my purse clutched in front of me and heard the words, “I’m sorry, there was no movement [on the ultrasound].” When we got to the car I cried so hard I thought I would tear the lining of my throat out, as if by wailing, I could will my baby back to life. The unthinkable had happened: My baby died.

In the days following I was thrust into the world of loss, the harsh clinical world of “pregnancy loss”, “tissue”, “products of conception”, “spontaneous abortion”, etc. I fought for the only thing I had left that I could do for my baby: honor his or her body. I had joyfully carried him while he was alive, nourished his growing body, prayed for his health. Now his soul had departed, but the body remained. And the last thing I was going to do is let some unfeeling and efficient doctor tear him out of me.

I needed information. I needed support to labor and deliver my baby on my own since the medical field had abandoned me. Kind friends and even some strangers reached out and told me the details of their own losses. For some I know the memories were probably almost unbearably painful to dredge up, but they did it anyway. With their love, support, prayers, and the information I had gleaned from them and from painful internet searches, I prepared to honor my baby’s body. Late one night, after I had almost lost hope, my body finally relinquished its grip and I held my son in my hands. My beautiful baby.

This is a journey I have made four times now. Thankfully after the first time I did have support and care from medical staff. Their love and respect has gone a long way toward healing the festering wound left by the first doctor. And, I dare say, by traveling this road with me they too have learned something about human dignity.

Lost Innocents was born of this pain. It was born of the need to honor the women who had gone before me and then supported me in my agony. It was born out of a wish to provide others with the same information and support. It was born to honor the love for my son Innocent, and then in turn, Andrew, Gabriel, and Demetrius.

Innocent did not live long by human standards. He was less than 13 weeks in this life and never took a breath. He did not hear me sing to him, never felt me kiss his head. But this tiny baby, this miracle created in the image of God, has birthed an entire ministry to bereaved parents and their precious children.

Today is the feast of St. Innocent in the Orthodox Church. I gave my son the name Innocent in his honor and today I remember him. May his memory be eternal!

Long-awaited updates

I apologize for the extreme length of time between site updates! There are several to mention:

Many thanks to A., Inga, Rebecca and Sara for sharing photographs of their sweet babies, and to Inga for sharing her story as well. You can find all of these on the Your Stories page and the Photographs page. May the memory of these babies be eternal!

The service released by the OCA will be added soon to the Prayers and Liturgics page. I also have some other maintenance duties that will be attended to.

Thank you for your patience!